A Tale of Two Idiots
by bluemoonlightgirl
Summary: Axel's bored. So he and Roxas decide to go around and make complete chaos! Will the Organization have it's revenge when Axel and Roxas are done? Complete!
1. Nothing But Chaos

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts

A Tale of Two Idiots

Chapter 1

Nothing But Chaos

Axel sat there, bored out of his mind as Xemnas held his meeting.

"Also, to the person who let their voodoo doll making kit in the girls bathroom, please do us all a favor and remove it. It's disturbing, and it scared Marluxia. Thank you. Now, moving on…"

_Voodoo doll making kit? It's not mine! It's Larxene's! He, he, he, _Axel thought as Xemnas continued to talk about unimportant things, as far as Axel was concerned.

_All I want to do right now is burn something. Or make someone's life miserable with Roxas. Whichever comes first._

"…And that ends our meeting. Oh, one more thing. The day I became a Nobody will be in seven days. I cherish that day because that's when I started to take away research from Ansem the Wise and make Kingdom Hearts! So you guys better not do anything stupid. That goes for you Axel!"

Axel looked up. "What have I ever done?"

"Blow up the toilet," Roxas said while playing his Nintendo DS.

Axel looked at his best friend with an evil smile. "Oh yeah! And that one time when I got drunk and burnt all of Marluxia's dumb plants 'cause I got all carried away…"

"You did WHAT!" Marluxia cried, pulling out his pink scythe.

"Oh god," Axel yelled as he ran for his dear life.

"Get back here you murderer!"

"The meeting is now over," Xemnas said, but they didn't seem to hear him as they went back to their rooms.

> > > > > > > > > >

Axel stopped running, only to notice that he ran all the way to the bathroom.

"Where are you Axel? Don't worry, I won't hurt you. Much."

Axel gulped and dove into the bathroom as Marluxia came by, swinging his scythe.

Suddenly, a dark portal appeared right in front of Axel, and Demyx came out.

"So that's where you! Roxas was looking for you. Did I come at a bad time?" Demyx asked, noticing Axel's look of panic.

"So you're hiding in a bathroom? No escaping me now!" Marluxia cried from the hallway.

Axel looked at Demyx, who had already disappeared. Before Axel could react, Marluxia hit the door with his scythe.

"Mommy?" Axel muttered as Marluxia came in for the kill.

> > > > > > > > > >

"That's right. Daddy loves you both. But I love _you_ better."

If you were standing outside the door, you would have thought that Roxas was crazy. But if you saw what he was doing, you'd think he was mental.

Roxas sat on his bed, polishing his two Keyblades. He had already finished polishing Oathkeeper, so now he was cleaning Oblivion. While _talking_ to them.

All of a sudden, the door burst open to reveal a very wet Axel.

Roxas looked up and started to laugh. The only time he had seen Axel wet was either from pissing himself or from taking a bath, which he hadn't done for three days now.

"What happened to you?" Roxas asked in between laughs.

"Don't you dare laugh!" Axel yelled at Roxas.

"Why?"

"Marluxia gave me a swirly." Axel said.

That only caused Roxas to laugh harder, angering Axel.

"Don't laugh at me! It was completely unexpected. Marluxia was chasing me, so I went to hide in a bathroom. Bad mistake 'cause Demyx showed up and Marluxia found out where I was. Demyx got his butt away, but I wasn't so lucky. So I hide in a bathroom stall, about to make my courageous escape, but Marluxia attacked the door with his scythe, put his boot to my face, and stuffed my head into a toilet. Oh yeah, he flushed about a dozen times, too. He also told me to never set his plants on fire again. Got it memorized?"

Roxas nodded, trying really hard not to laugh at his fire loving friend.

"Okay, so why'd you want me?" Axel asked, trying to get the water out of his hair.

"What do you mean?" Roxas asked as he went back to cleaning Oblivion.

"Remember when I said that Demyx found me? He said you were looking for me."

"No I wasn't."

"So that rat lied to me!" Axel yelled as he took out his weapons. "When I get a hold of that rat, I'm going to-"

"I need to get back at him too, ya now," Roxas said as they ran out the room, screaming like a pair of nuts.

> > > > > > > > > >

Luxord reached Saix's room and knocked.

"What?" Saix said as he came to the door.

Luxord took out his favorite deck of cards. "I'm bored so I've invited Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, and Lexaeus to my room to play some cards. Want to come?"

Saix thought for a moment. "Do you have any vodka?"

Luxord nodded. "Three barrels, to be exact."

"Count me in then."

As they walked to Luxord's room, Saix asked, "We gonna invite someone else?"

"Well, Vexen couldn't come because he's doing something in his room, Zexion said that it was a waste of his time to get drunk and act like an idiot, Larxene would just call all of us bloody cheaters and make plans to rule the world alone, Marluxia is just too stupid to play, Demyx and Roxas are too young, and Axel might get drunk again and blow up Marluxia's room," Luxord responded.

"Okay then, what we playing?" Saix asked again.

"Poker."

> > > > > > > > > >

Demyx fell on his bed, barely being able to contain his laughter. He had just played a joke on Axel, and also took pictures of Marluxia giving him a swirly!

"I should sell these to-"

_Knock, knock, KNOCK._

Demyx shot up. "Who is it?"

"Your worst nightmare," Axel said, revenge in his voice.

"Don't forget me. I still have to get back at you for stealing my lifetime supply of candy." Roxas said as he came out of a darkness portal from behind Demyx.

"Damn."

> > > > > > > > > >

"What the-!"

"You do realize that you're playing against the greatest poker player ever?" Luxord said calmly, as Xemnas pounded the table with his fist.

"Dude, will you calm down? I mean, you won the first game," Xigbar said.

"That's not it."

"Then why are ya angry?" Saix said stupidly as he chucked down a glass of vodka.

Luxord smiled. "We made a bet. If Xemnas loses, he has to run around in his boxers, here inside The Castle That Never Was."

"What possessed you to make a bet against Luxord?" Xaldin asked Xemnas, who had a really evil look on his face.

Luxord got up and backed away once he saw his face. "Don't you dare."

Xemnas got up and followed Luxord. "Just watch me."

> > > > > > > > > >

"Ah, sweet revenge," Axel said as he and Roxas walked out of Demyx's room, clearly pleased with what they had done. They had jumped on Demyx and tried to rip his hair out. Unfortunatly, they couldn't, so they dropped a bucket of ice cold water on him while Roxas hit him with his Keyblades. Then they took the photos Demyx had made of Axel while he was getting beat up by Marluxia and burned them.

Roxas sighed. "What are we supposed to do now?"

"Burn something that belongs to Marluxia," Axel said.

Just then, they heard yelling and screaming coming from Luxord's room.

"Wonder what's going on?" Roxas asked as they opened the door.

They opened the door to find Luxord and Xemnas rolling on the ground beating the stuffing out of each other. Xigbar, Xaldin, and Lexaeus were cheering them on as Saix (who was wearing a dress!) was dancing on the poker table, clearly drunk.

"And they say _we're _immature?" Axel asked, holding back a fit of laughter.

Roxas took out his digital camera. "How much do you think this'll cost on ebay?" he asked Axel.

"Forget ebay! We can use this as blackmail material." Axel said as Roxas took about a dozen pictures.

Saix looked at the pair in the doorway. "My fans have come to take pictures of me dancing! Yay!"

The other five looked up and saw Roxas holding the camera.

"Shit. I promised my girlfriend that I wouldn't beat anyone up anymore," Xemnas said, getting up and brushing himself of.

"_You_ have a girlfriend? Damn, I thought you hated girls!" Roxas yelled, putting his camera away.

Xigbar, Xaldin, Lexaeus, and Luxord dropped dead laughing while Saix continued to dance on the table in his pretty girly dress.

Xemnas turned to Axel and Roxas, face turning bright red. "Don't you dare do what I think your going to do."

"Hey Roxas, I have an idea," Axel whispered.

"And that would be…?"

"Lets send these to his girlfriend!"

"Hell yeah!" Roxas yelled as they opened a darkness portal, leaving Xemnas to curse them off in Luxord's room.

> > > > > > > > > >

So, did you like it? Read and Review! But please, be nice :)


	2. Even More Fun

Thank you so much for all the reviews! But, some credit has to go to my brother, he came up with the swirly idea.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny.

A Tale of Two Idiots

Chapter 2

Even More Fun

A portal of darkness appeared in Xemnas's room, and out stepped none other than Axel and Roxas. Why were they here? One word: blackmail.

"All right, If I were Mr. Lovesick, where would I hide my girlfriends number?" Axel asked Roxas as they searched the room.

"Hey Axel, I'm going to download the pictures," Roxas said as he disappeared through a portal (like I said, he has a digital camera).

"You do that," Axel muttered. He looked through file cabinets, but still didn't find anything.

_God, where can it be? _He thought as he searched the desk. He finally found what he was looking for. The address book was lying on it's cover (wonder why). Axel picked it up and looked at it.

"Ah! My eyes!" he yelled as he threw it across the room, where it landed face up. On the cover was…

Barney! Muwhahahahahahaha!

Ten minutes later, Roxas came back to find Axel sitting under the desk, sucking his thumb.

"What are you…?"

"Barney's gonna eat me!" Axel yelled, still sucking his thumb.

"What?" Roxas asked, really confused.

Axel nervously pointed to the address book on floor, near the other side of the room.

Roxa walked over to it and picked it up. He looked at it, cleared his throat, and did something unspeakable.

He began to sing.

"I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to-"

Axel got up, took the book away from Roxas, and said, "Never, do you hear me? _Never _do that again. You're scaring me!"

"Fine. But why don't you like Barney?" Roxas asked as he took the book back and began looking through it.

"That's none of your business."

Roxas flipped over the pages until he found what he was looking for. "Eh, eh. Found it. How about we fax her the pictures?"

"Why not?" Axel said, holding back his laughter.

> > > > > > > > > >

An hour later, they were sitting in the living room laughing at the evil deed they had just done. They were sitting on the sofa, feet propped up on the coffee table.

"I can't wait to see the look on Xemnas's face when his girlfriend calls him tonight!" Roxas laughed, reaching for his sour starbursts.

Axel saw him and took the starbursts away. "And what do you think you're doing?"

"Eating candy."

"That's the last thing you need. I've seen how you act when you eat sugar, and it's not pretty," Axel said as he started eating them.

"But, but," Roxas said as Zexion entered the room.

"Why if it isn't The Cloaked Schemer. What do you what?" Axel asked as he ate three starbursts at once, with Roxas still pleading for his candy to come back to him.

"Some of the Organization members are in the kitchen spying on Xemnas and his girlfriend. By what I heard, she's pretty mad. Something's telling me that you two are behind it."

"His girlfriend is _here_?" Axel asked.

Zexion sighed. "Just come and see."

They followed him into the kitchen, where Xigbar, Xaldin, Luxord, and Demyx were listening to whatever was going on out in the hall.

A women's voice was heard, sounding really pissed. "I come home from work to find these pictures coming out of my fax machine-"

"But sweetie, it's not what you think-" Xemnas said, close to crying.

"We had a deal. If you were good for a month, I would marry you."

Now Xemnas was on his knees. "Please give me another chance!" he said as he kissed her feet.

"Never!" She raised her fist and punched the living daylights out of Xemnas, who fell backward with a black eye.

She stormed out, slamming the door behind her. Out of nowhere, Saix appeared dressed like a flower girl (with makeup on!) and ran circles around Xemnas, throwing flowers down on his unconscious body. Then he started to sing:

"Pray to the dead and the dead will pray for you!" Dun dun da da dun da da da da da da! Sing to the dead and the dead will sing to you! Dun dun da da dun da da da da da da!"

Behind him, Luxord appeared with a steel baseball bat in his hands. He lifted it up, and hit Saix on the head with it.

"Twinkle, twinkle, little star…" was the last thing Saix said as both he and Xemnas drifted off to la-la land.

"No more Vodka for you." Luxord muttered as saw the Organization members in the kitchen. He took out his car keys and pointed to the door. "To the Organization bus. We're going for a little ride."

> > > > > > > > > >

The 'little ride' turned out to be a trip to the local hospital, where they dropped Xemnas off so his black eye could heal. Then they went to the nut house and left Saix there.

"Man, we should have brought him here months ago," Axel said as they watched the men in white drag Saix away.

Luxord started the bus, and they began their way back to the castle.

> > > > > > > > > >

Without the Superior around, the castle turned into a living hell.

When they had come back, they all ran out of the bus, screaming and hollering like morons.

Roxas ran all the way to the kitchen, hoping to eat some junk food before Axel confiscated it from him and ate it himself.

"Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh," Roxas said as he saw a pile of candy on the table.

Ten minutes later he ate three bags of sour starbursts, one bag of really spicy chips, a jumbo bag of sour skittles, and four bags of sour patch kids.

As he finished, he went to the window and looked out.

"I have an idea!"

> > > > > > > > > >

Axel walked down a deserted hallway with a bag in one hand, and an iPod in the other. The song that was playing was "The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny", which Roxas had downloaded for Axel since he liked it so much.

_"Old Godzilla was hopping around, Tokyo City like a big playground,_

_when suddenly Batman burst from the shade, and hit Godzilla with a Bat grenade,_

_Godzilla got pissed and began to attack, but didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq,"_

He reached for his bag a pulled out a bottle of spray paint, shook it, and sprayed it on the wall in front of him.He took more out, and starting making something on the wall.

_"who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq Fu, when Aaron Carter came out of the blue,_

_and he started beating up Shaquille O'Neal, then they both got flattened by the Batmobile,_

_but before it could back it back to the Batcave, Abraham Lincoln popped out of his grave,_

_and took out an AK47 out from under his hat, and blew Batman away with a rat-a-tat-tat,"_

Axel put away the spray paint cans and stepped back to admire his masterpiece. It said:

_Xemnas sucks and I rock! Xigbar was here dudes!_

_Wish Roxas could see this,_ he though,_ framing people is so much fun!_

He shut his iPod off and starting walking away, but not before Roxas showed up, looking like he was attacked by cute, fuzzy, and adorable forest creatures, who were really EVIL creatures trying to take over the world! Muwhahahahaha!

"What happened to you? Did Larxene mug you or something?" he asked.

Roxas stared at him, eyes twitching, "Candy…sugar…yummy."

"You didn't…" Axel asked, but he already knew the answer. Roxas had eaten candy, which had sugar. And that was a no-no. The last time Roxas had sugar, he took one of Axel's chakrams, ran all around the castle, set fire to Marluxia's plants, blew up Larxene's voodoo doll collection, messed up one of Vexen's experiments, burned half of Zexion's books, stole Demyx's hair gell, Luxord's favorite card deck, and Saix's Vodka. He also made a bombfire in the backyard.

That made Axel cry tears of joy, seeing the beautiful fire and all it's glory. But Demyx put it out. Xemnas had also told Axel to control Roxas during his sugar rushs. But he had been so happy about his lastest scheme that he completely forgot about Roxas's sugar problem.

"You'll never guess what I did," Roxas said.

"What?" Axel asked, afraid to know.

"I used Luxord's betting munny to rent a helicopter. I mean, you should see how much munny that guy has! Like, a million munny!"

Axel's jaw dropped. "One, you used Luxord's betting munny! He's going to kill you! Two, why in the name of Kingdom Hearts did you rent a helicopter?"

Roxas smiled like a crackpot. "So we could jump out of it and kill ourselves."

"Why woul- wait one second. You might have something there." Axel said.

"Really? Wow, I'm smart!" Roxas yelled, jumping up and down.

Axel sighed. "The people I surround myself with…"

With that, Axel followed Roxas outside to where the helicopter was.

> > > > > > > > > >

It wasn't as funny as the first chapter, but I hope you liked it. Read and Review!


	3. Donkey Madness

I feel so loved! Thanks for all the reviews! There is going to be an OC in this story, but if you email me telling me you want to be inthis, I'm going to say no.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, and Teral belongs to Sky Burst Dragon.

A Tale of Two Idiots

Chapter 3

Donkey Madness

Axel and Roxas reached the backyard and looked at the helicopter. Next to it was a teenage girl.

"Hello! My name is Teral, and I'm going to be your pilot!" Teral said, a big smile on her face.

"Roxas? Is she really going to be our pilot?" Axel asked nervously.

Roxas nodded, still high on sugar. "She's the best one they had."

Axel sighed. "If you're sure…" he said as he saw Teral's eyes twitch.

"I'm going to get Xaldin, you stay here. And don't do anything stupid." Axel said.

> > > > > > > > > >

The front door of the castle opened to reveal….

…Xemnas and Saix!

They had just gotten back from the hospital, and in Saix's case, the nut house. Xemnas had a piece of meat over his left eye and Saix looked like he was going to snap at any given second.

"Dudes! Your back!" Xigbar said as he walked up to them.

"Don't call me 'dude'," Xemnas said, on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

"Find a happy place, find a happy place, they won't find me in my happy place, they won't use the big bad needle on me, no, not in my happy place…" Saix muttered, looking around to make sure that 'they' weren't there.

"Man, what happened to him?" Xigbar asked as Xemnas burst into tears.

"Okay, you two are scaring me."

Five minutes later, after they put Saix in his 'happy place', Xemnas and Xigbar were in the living room. Xigbar was sitting in an armchair with a clipboard and pencil in his hands while Xemnas was laying down on the sofa with, a piece of meat still over his left eye.

"Now, start from the beginning." Xigbar asked as Xemnas blew his nose on a napkin.

It all started when he came back from the hospital. After Xigbar made him stop crying, Xemnas said he needed a therapist. Unfortunately, a real therapist would have just sent him straight to the nut house. So, now the two of them were playing therapy in the living room. Oh joy.

"We met in a club. She was so h-"

Xigbar wasn't listening. He was only doing this because Xemnas threatened to turn him into a Dusk if he didn't listen to his problems.

"-she was punching people and muging them. We were meant to be…"

_What kind of idiot would love a women like that? Oh wait, I know who. Xemnas, _Xigbar thought as he doodled away on the clipboard.

"-we ended up torturing a whole lot of people that night, it was so romantic…"

_His idea of romance is sick, _Xigbar still wasn't listening.

_"_Are you listening to me?" Xemnas said as he looked up.

"What? Yeah, I'm listening."

"No you're not! You hate me!"

"I never said that!"

Now Xemnas was really angry. He grabbed the clipboard, ready to hit Xigbar over the head, when he saw something on it. He studied it, and it was basically like this:

Little stick figure people were on it, one of them was on a surfboard surfing on the ocean, and the other picture had two people; one with a gun and the other lying on the ground. And that figure looked like…

"You're shooting me? When I get my hands on you!" Xemnas yelled, forgetting about the therapy thing.

Xigbar slowly backed away, then ran out the door, screaming like a little girl.

> > > > > > > > > >

Axel and Xaldin walked back outside with Axel silently laughing to himself.

"Let me get this straight: you and Roxas rented a helicopter so we could all jump out with a parachute on?"

"Yup."

"What's the catch? You're not exactly the nicest Organization member…"

Axel grinned. "Is it so wrong to be nice once in a while?"

"No, but…" Xaldin started as they reached the helicopter.

_Yes! He still doesn't know what I'm planning! _Axel was still grinning like a madman as they stepped into the helicopter.

Teral was sitting in the pilot's seat and Roxas was sitting in the passenger seat. Unknown to Axel, Roxas gave some sugar to Teral, so now they were both sugar high, in more than one way.

"Hey Roxas, did you do it?" Axel whispered to his buddy.

"Yup. Cut a hole right through his parachute," Roxas replied as he gave the parachute to Axel.

"Perfect. Start the helicopter, who are you again?"

"The name's Teral!"

"Right."

Soon they were off. But the smooth flying didn't last long…

The helicopter suddenly turned into a hell-copter.

"Will you drive the helicopter straight already!" Xaldin yelled as both he and Axel held on for there dear live.

"Wwwwwweeeeeeeee!" Teral yelled as the helicopter started to make a dive toward the ground.

"This is great!" Roxas said.

"This is suicide, that's what it is!" Axel yelled.

The helicopter suddenly started upward, then went back to normal.

"Do it again, do it again!" Roxas said, taking a bag of chocolate covered pretzels out of his secret candy hiding place.

"Axel, didn't Xemnas tell you to control Roxas?" Xaldin said, regaining his balance.

"Believe me, I've tried."

"Eeeekkkkk!"

Xaldin and Axel turned toward the front, to see who screamed. It turned out to be Roxas.

"Why are you screaming?" Xaldin asked as they made there way to him.

"I-I think I poisoned her," Roxas said as Teral was mumbling things to herself. "I gave her some chocolate covered preztals, then she started acting drunk!"

"Eh, eh, eh, I like candy, I like sugar!" Teral yelled as she steered the helicopter left and right, making them all sick.

"I'm sorry Axel! I didn't mean to steal your underwear! Now we're all going to die!" Roxas said as he burst into tears.

"Wait a minute, _you _stole my underwear? And to think, I thought it was Vexen!"

"Now's not the time Axel."

"Shut up! Isn't your element wind?"

"Yeah, but…"

"Wwwwwwweeeeeeeee! I like sugar, I like candy!"

"We're all going to DIE!"

Axel felt like he was going to explode. He took out his chakrams, and went to the front of the helicopter.

"Roxas, Teral, I'm sorry," Axel said sarcastically as he hit them both on the head with his chakrams. They both fell on the floor unconscious.

"You idiot! Now who's gonna fly the helicopter!" Xaldin yelled.

"Ugh, we'll jump out!" Axel said, grabbing the parachutes. "You take Teral, I'll take Roxas."

They all jumped out, five seconds later the helicopter crashed into Lexaeus's room. Luckily, he wasn't there.

"You do realize _you're_ paying for the damage, right?" Xaldin said as they opened their parachutes.

The good news: the parachutes opened properly. The bad news: there were holes in both of them.

"I thought I told Roxas to put holes in Xaldin's, not mine too! I said that out loud, didn't I?"

"Yup. And I will kill you. One of these days-"

He never got to finish because they fell right in the lake behind the castle. They swam out and collapsed on the shore.

"Man, I'm never listening to Roxas again! Especially when he's high on sugar." Axel said, getting up and taking the parachute off.

Xaldin sighed. "I'll take these two in," he pointed to the unconscious Roxas and Teral, "Try not to do anything stupid. You're already in for it as it is."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quit your worrying. I'll be a good little boy."

Axel walked of and stared at the sky, which was already dark.

"Man, this was one hell of a day. And it ended badly," he said as he suddenly saw something in the corner of his eye.

He turned and saw…

…a donkey, eating grass.

"How'd that thing get here? Oh well, looks like my day's gonna end with a bang!" Axel walked over to the donkey, and slapped it's ass hard.

The donkey shrieked, and ran through the open back door of the castle. Axel followed it, and saw it running away from Larxene, who was trying to kill it with her knives.

"Die you stupid donkey, I said DIE!" She yelled as she tripped over Axel's foot, who held it out on purpose.

Suddenly, Roxas appeared out of nowhere. "What's going on?" Roxas asked, who was sugar high no more. He was standing behind Axel while Larxene ran around, completely insane.

"I slapped a donkey on the ass, and now Larxene's trying to commit murder," Axel said, holding down his laughter as Zexion entered the room. He looked around and sighed.

"Why in the worlds am I stuck here with you idiots?"

"Because your special like us," Roxas said, smiling like the little devil that he was.

"Yeah, so why don't you stop whining and come have some fun?" Axel said as the donkey ran over Larxene.

"Rather not," he said as he went back to his room.

"Whatever," Roxas said as they went back to watching Larxene get trampled by the donkey.

"Come on you dumb donkey, kill her!" Axel said, obviously on the donkey's side.

"Yeah, eat her for all we care!" Roxas said, grabbing a bag of popcorn.

"When…I…get…my…hands…on…you…two…I'm…going…to…,"She started, but the donkey hit her in the face with it's foot, and she past out.

And the day ended with Axel and Roxas laughing their heads off, while dancing naked out under the full moon.

> > > > > > > > > >

Hope you enjoyed! Read and Review!


	4. Anniversary

Again, thanks for the reviews! Some people asked me why Axel and Roxas were naked last time. You'll find out now.

This chapter is living proof of why this storyis rated "T". Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Pizza Hut. The only thing I own are the evil people in my head.

A Tale of Two Idiots

Chapter 4

Anniversary

After the very eventful night, Roxas woke up and went to eat breakfast. He got a bowl of cereal from the kitchen and went to the dining room, where Demyx was already eating.

"Good morning!" Roxas said, sitting in front of Demyx.

"What are you so happy about?" Demyx asked as Larxene walked past, a bottle of aspirin in one hand and a wet rag in the other.

"Oh, what terrible things these eyes of mine have seen! Oh, I will get revenge, they will pay for making me have nightmares…" Larxene muttered to herself, obviously not noticing Demyx and Roxas having there breakfast.

She walked out of the room, leaving Roxas confused. "What's her problem?"

Demyx looked up. "She woke up in the middle of the night and found herself on the kitchen floor. She looked out the window and saw you and Axel nude. What were you two doing anyway?"

Roxas looked up, smiling. "We were doing a ritual dance for the god of hell."

"O…kay," Demyx said, wishing he didn't ask. Axel and Roxas did a lot of weird things when they were bored. That was obviously one of them.

"Sooooooo aren't you gonna wish me and Axel a happy anniversary?"

Demyx spit out the orange juice that he was drinking. _They have an anniversary? What kind of sick joke is this?_

Roxas saw the shocked look on Demyx's face. "Don't tell me you forgot! Don't you remember what happened a year ago on this very day?"

Demyx thought for a moment. He always did have short-term memory loss. And long-term memory loss.

Roxas pouted. "Ah, come on! It's when me and Axel became best friends!"

"Oh…," Demyx said. No wonder he forget. Heck, the whole Organization wanted to forget that day!

"I remember it as it was yesterday…," Roxas said.

(flashback)

The eleven organization members were in the meeting room, waiting for Xemnas to get the meeting started. Five minutes later, Xemnas walked in, a huge smile was on his face as if he was a kid at a carnival.

"Guess who is now the thirteenth member of my, I mean _our_, Organization!" Xemnas said, overjoyed with happiness.

"The muffin man?" Saix asked stupidly.

"A therapist?" Zexion said.

"A stuffed dummy that I could use my guns on?" Xigbar asked.

"Why don't you use it on Axel," Marluxia said. "I hope it's a hairstylist."

"Is it a member of the FBI?" Axel asked happily. Unfortunately, Larxene heard him. "You sick pervert!" She yelled as she threw her knifes at him. Axel ducked.

"Ha! Ya missed you bi-"

"Enough!" yelled Xemnas.

Both Axel and Larxene sat back down again as Xemnas continued.

"You have all guessed wrong. The new member is the Keyblade Master's Nobody wh-"

All the member's had shocked looks on their faces. Even Zexion, but he quickly replaced it with and expressionless look.

"Are you joking?" Vexen said as Axel started tapping his fingers on the desk.

"Man, are you done yet? I'm getting bored. Really bored," Axel said, starting to get sleepy.

Xemnas turned to Axel. "You know, I still need to punish you for what you did this morning."

"Ah, come on! It was just a joke! Can't you take a joke?" Axel asked, putting his feet on the table in front of him.

Xemnas got angry. "Putting rat poison in my morning coffee is not funny. I could have died!"

"It wasn't rat poison, it was plant food. But they taste the same,"

"How would you know?"

"Don't know, don't care."

"That's it! Your punishment is to show our new member around. And don't you dare start complaining!"

"What? Do you know who he-" Axel started, but was interrupted.

"Hahahaha! Have fun getting your butt whopped by the Keyblade Master's Nobody!" Larxene started laughing hysterically as Axel walked out of the room.

> > > > > > > > > >

Axel walked through the hallway, trying to think up a plan of revenge.

"I could always pull a prank on him, but he'd know it was me. Man, what am I supposed to do?"

He turned the corner and saw a kid with short, spiky blonde hair and blue eyes, pacing next to the front door, thinking hard about something. He was already in the Organization outfit.

"…That guy has nerve to boss me around, the silver haired dummy. I should do something evil, but what? Oh! I could put a baby crocodile in his toilet!"

Hearing that, Axel fell on the floor laughing like crazy at the thought of Xemnas getting his ass bitten by a crocodile.

The boy saw him, pulled out his Keyblades, and was ready to defend himself. But stopped when he saw the red headed man laughing on the floor.

"That…is so…rich!" Axel said in between laughs. "I wish I thought of it!"

"Who the heck are you?" The boy asked, staring at Axel as if he was crazy, which he was.

"The silver haired dummy, Xemnas, told me to show you around. But forget that. Lets do your prank instead. Oh yeah, the names Axel. Got it memorized?" Axel said, holding out his hand.

"I'm Roxas," he said shaking Axel's hand.

"Okay then, now where are we gonna get a baby crocodile?"

Roxas grinned like a madman. "Just leave that to me."

An hour later, they were both hiding in the hallway closet in front of Xemnas's room. Roxas had already put the baby crocodile in Xemnas's personal toilet. Now all they had to do was wait till Xemnas had the urge to piss.

"Ha! Man, I can't wait until he goes!" Roxas said, holding back his laughter.

"That's not all, I put your camcorder on his towel shelf. Now we can sell the footage on ebay!" Axel said, also holding back laughter.

They suddenly went quiet as they heard Xemnas walking in the hallway.

"Alright Luxord, I'll be right there," Xemnas said as he entered his room. The two troublemakers saw him through a crack in the closet door.

They waited patiently, until they heard a scream.

"VEXEN? VEXEN, GET THIS THING OFF OF MY ASS! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

Axel opened the closet door, then he and Roxas were on the ground, laughing like crazy.

Xemnas was running through the hall with a green thing hanging off of his butt. Roxas got his camcorder out of the bathroom, and both he and Axel ran after Xemnas.

"LUXORD! SAIX! VEXEN! ONE OF YOU GET IT OFF OF ME!"

Bedroom doors opened and everyone gasped as they saw the Superior running through the halls, screaming like the sissy little girl that he was.

Demyx went up to Xemnas and ripped the crocodile off him. "Ah, it's so cute! Can we keep it?"

"Hell no!" Xemnas yelled.

"Put some pants on!" Larxene said as she dove back into her room.

"You're quite lucky. It was only an inch away from your you-know-what," Luxord said, examining the bite marks.

"Damn, we were so close!"

The Organization members turned to see Axel and Roxas, who still had his camcorder, standing a few feet behind them.

"You did this?" Xemnas asked, ready to blow his top.

"My idea," Roxas said, pointing to himself.

"And I helped," Axel said, giving Roxas a high five.

"WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU TWO!" Xemnas yelled, running after them with a pitchfork.

The two troublemakers ran through the hallway, laughing like complete morons.

And that was the day Axel and Roxas became best friends.

It was also the day the Organization's worst nightmare came true: Axel now had a playmate, who he would make trouble and play pranks with.

(end flashback)

"I wish he kept the baby crocodile…" Demyx said.

"Either way, It was the best day of my life! Well, it was the first day of my life, but it was fun!" Roxas said, finishing his cereal.

Just then, Axel burst in, looking happy. "Come on, hurry up, the rest of the Organization's in the living room. We're going to dare each other, man style!"

The two boys got up and followed Axel to the living room.

> > > > > > > > > >

"Yay! Now we're going to play truth of dare, but without the truth part. And we're gonna play the manly way,"

"Excuse me," Larxene said, since she was the only woman here.

"You're exused, now, Roxas, start us off," Axel said, leaning against the wall.

You must be thinking: why on earth would the Organization agree with this? Simple- it would keep Axel and Roxas occupied so they won't cause any trouble in the castle.

"Hm, Luxord, I dare you to sing 'Twinkle, twinkle, little star' with your mouth full of marshmallows!" Roxas exclaimed.

Luxord sighed and did what Roxas said. He stuffed a couple of marshmallows in his mouth (the big ones) and tried to sing. Unfortunately, they melted and were stuck inside his mouth, so he couldn't say a word.

"Mhmhmhhhhmmhhmhm," he said, but nobody knew what he meant. Get it? _Nobody._

"You all are sissy's!" Axel said.

Almost all of them had went, and Xemnas was the last one. He was afraid. Very afraid.

"Now, what should I dare you to do?" Axel asked, tapping his chin.

"Oh!" Roxas said, going over to Axel and whispering something in his ear.

"Hahahaha, that's good," he turned to Xemnas. "I dare you to order 13 extra large pepperoni pizzas, in your boxers. And when they get here, answer the door in your boxers."

"What? Over my dead body," Xemnas said, turning pink.

"You have no choice. Do you know how much blackmail material we have? We could use it against you," Roxas said as everyone laughed.

Xemnas walked away so he could undress in privacy.

"All of you are sick," Larxene said.

"You're calling us sick? You torture people, and you like it!" Axel said.

"Well it's better than seeing a grown man in his boxers," Larxene argued back.

"Oh no, this is much better," Demyx said as Xemnas reentered the room.

Axel stared in shock as everyone burst out laughing. Xemnas had Barney on his boxers. And Axel was terrified by Barney.

"You like _Barney_? Marluxia asked as he continued to laugh.

"Shut up, pinky," Xemnas said as he took out his cell phone.

_"Hello! This is Pizza Hut! How can we help you?" _asked the person on the other line.

"Can I please have 13 extra large pepperoni pizzas?" Xemnas said,red in the face.

_"We'll be there in 30 minutes!" _the person said as he hung up.

> > > > > > > > > >

Thirty minutes later, someone knocked on the door. Xemnas got up and answered it.

The guy on the other side started talking. "Your total comes to $214.17. Cash plea- WTF?"

The pizza guy stared at Xemnas, who was in his favorite pair of boxers.

"Dude, do you have to answer the door like that?" He asked, feeling uncomfortable.

"Give me the damn pizza," Xemnas said, getting ready to beat the poor guy up.

"Here! It's free!" he said as he turned around and ran down the road screaming.

> > > > > > > > > >

A mile away, a red and yellow gummi ship sat on a hill, looking directly toward The Castle That Never Was.

Inside the gummi ship, a boy with spiky brown hair looked out at the castle with a pair of binoculars as the pizza guy went screaming past them.

The boy looked at the front door of the castle, were he saw Xemnas in boxers, holding 13 boxes of Pizza.

He turned to the table next to him, where a silvered haired boy was plotting and scheming.

"Hey Riku, look at this! Xemnas is in Barney boxers! The boy, Sora, said.

Riku looked out the window. "WTF?"

"I think this is the perfect time to attack," Sora said, smiling very like an evil man.

"I have to agree with you on that," Riku said, grabbing his Keyblade.

"They're gonna be crying like babies," Sora said, grabbing his own Keyblade and following Riku out of the gummi ship.

> > > > > > > > > >

Am I evil or what? And what are Sora and Riku doing here? Read and Review!


	5. Attack on the Castle

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or anything else that you find here.

A Tale of Two Idiots

Chapter 5

Attack on the Castle

Sora and Riku made their way down to The Castle That Never Was; a Keyblade in both their hands, along with really, really scary Halloween masks on.

They were dressed like army men; a bunch of pockets on their cloths containing poppers, matches (for who knew what), paintball guns, water guns, water balloons, and a lot of other things that they could cause trouble with.

"We've done this for three months straight, and it never gets boring," Sora said, making his Keyblade vanish, and pulling out his poppers.

"As long as Kairi never figures out what we do when she's at the mall, we can keep on doing this," Riku said, putting away his own Keyblade and getting out his paintball gun.

> > > > > > > > > >

The Organization was currently in the living room, eating the pizza that Xemnas got from the idiotic pizza guy.

"Ah, this day can't get any better," Roxas said as he chucked down his tenth slice of pizza.

"All I want is for this day to end already," Xemnas said, sitting on the couch, grumpy.

"My hunter senses are kicking in," Xigbar said, looking out the window.

"What do you see Xigbar?" Luxord asked. Everybody in the whole castle knew that he had the best vision. Which was why he was the one who caught the large Chocobo that they all had for Thanksgiving.

"Oh no…not them again…it's those two evil boys that come here once a month to cause trouble!" Xigbar yelled, getting out his guns.

"What are we waiting for then? Run for your pathetic nobody lives!" Xemnas said as they all got up and ran throughout the castle, trying to hide.

Marluxia went to the greenhouse, pulling out his scythe and putting his hood on; Luxord hid under his poker table; Demyx hid in the shower; Vexen went to the cooler room; Lexaeus hid in the kitchen, pan held high above his head. Xemnas jumped in a darkness portal, which led to his offcie; Xaldin jumped out the window; Zexion just disappeared completely; Larxene went to where the generator was; Xigbar stayed behind the couch, guns at the ready; and Saix was patrolling the halls, in berserk mode.

Axel and Roxas were in the hall, completely defenseless.

"What are we supposed to do? I don't know where else to hide!" Axel said as the front door fell of it's hinges, and a cloud of smoke appeared.

"We fight, that's what we'll do! We'll end this once and for all," Roxas said, getting Oathkeeper and Oblivion out.

"I know I'm going to regret this…" Axel muttered as he took out his chakrams.

The smoke cleared to reveal the two boys. The one on the left pointed the paintball gun at them.

"Any last words?" he said as the boy next to him got ready to throw his poppers.

"Parley!" Roxas yelled, very amused.

"What?" Axel asked his best friend.

"Do we look like pirates to you?" the boy on the right said, taking of his mask to reveal…

"WTF? Roxas, it's your somebody!" Axel yelled, staring at Sora.

"Don't forget me," Riku said, still holding his paintball gun.

"What are you doing here?" Roxas asked, watching Riku's every move.

"We came to have fun, got a problem?" Sora said, grinning at Axel evilly.

"Roxas?" Axel whispered, leaning toward his spiky haired friend.

"What?" Roxas asked.

"RUN!"

> > > > > > > > > >

Sora was running down a random hall, chasing Axel. He and Riku spilt up when the two idiots ran for cover.

Sora finally managed to catch up with Axel, and started throwing poppers at his feet.

"Dance, fool, dance! Hahahahaha!"

Axel continued running, but he wasn't paying attention to where he was running. He ran into a huge flower vase (wonder who put it there).

"Damn you, Marluxia. Damn you and your flowers to hell," Axel said as he passed out.

"Muwhahahahahahahaha!" Sora laughed, then disappeared.

> > > > > > > > > >

"Quit moving you little rat!" Riku yelled, trying to hit Roxas with his paintball gun. "Damn it! Missed again!"

Roxas was clearly enjoying himself, trying to outrun Riku. He used his Keyblades to block, and hit back, everything Riku threw his way.

"What's wrong Riku? Can't you hit me? Or am I too fast for the little baby?"

"That's IT! You're dead now! DEAD!" Riku yelled, taking out his Way To Dawn and coming up to Roxas, who was a little too quick for him.

"Missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me!" Roxas said, doing a victory dance.

"Are you nuts? Wait, yes you are," Riku said, but Roxas came up behind his and knocked him unconscious.

"One down, one more to go," Roxas muttered, turning around.

Behind him stood…Darth Vader!

"What the-?"

Darth Vader took out a red lightsaber and charged toward Roxas.

Out of nowhere, Roxas got a blue lightsaber and blocked his attack.

"Why are you here?" Roxas asked as they both stood their ground.

"I am your father," Darth Vader said.

"Noooooooooo! Wait a sec, I don't have a father!" Roxas yelled, staring at "Darth Vader".

"Um, I'm your mummy!" he said, trying to think of something.

"Sorry," Roxas answered, not meaning any of it.

"Ugh, I'm your twin brother? Sister? Aunt? No wait, I'm your uncle twice removed…"

While Darth Vader was talking to himself, Roxas snuck up behind him and took of his helmet, only to surprise himself.

"Sora?"

Sora looked up, and finally realized that Roxas knew who he was. "Hello, how may I help you?" Sora said, trying to run away.

"Oh, no you don't," Roxa said, grabbing the boy.

"Don't hurt me! Please don't hurt me!" Sora yelled, trying to get away.

"Okay," Roxas said, hitting Sora over the head with his lightsaber.

"That's…not…what…I…meant! Ow!" Sora yelled as he ran away, screaming.

"Weirdo," Roxas said rolling his eyes. "Hey, where's Axel?" He walked down a hallway, where he saw Axel on the ground, cursing in his sleep.

"Come on, wake up," Roxas said as he kicked Axel in the stomach.

"Five more minutes, mommy," Axel said.

Roxas sighed. _Idiot, what am I supposed to do? Oh wait, I know! _Roxas started hitting him with his lightsaber.

"What the-! Oh, it's just you. I thought it was Sora again," Axel said, sitting up.

"Well, thanks to me, he's gone," Roxas sad, striking a pose.

"Well then, what are we supposed to do now?"

> > > > > > > > > >

Xemnas was sitting in his office, waiting for the two Keyblade Wielders to leave. He was happily eating a bag of chips when two hologram-like figures appeared in front of him.

He looked up, "Who the heck are you?"

The cloaked one looked at him. "I am the Galactic Emperor, The Sith Lord. And this is…um…Darth Vader, yeah, Darth Vader," he said, pointing to a black figure next to him.

"Who's your daddy?" Darth Vader said, shaking his butt.

"Not you," Xemnas muttered, staring at them both, "What do you two want?"

"Long time no see, Xemnas. Is this why you came to the Dark Side, to sit on your lazy ass and eat junk food?" The cloaked person-The Sith Lord-said.

"Well, no, but…"

"Get up and do something then! Use the _force_!" Darth Vader yelled.

"Yeah, what he said!" The Sith Lord said.

Xemnas looked from one to the other, really confused. "What am I supposed to do anyway?"

"Kill Axel and Roxas," Darth Vader said. "Then we, I mean you, will rule the world!"

"But I already rule this world."

The Sith Lord hit Darth Vader on the head. "He meant, you'll rule all the worlds."

"Ow! I've been hit by a lot of people today, do have to make it worse?" Vader said.

"Shut up and stick to the plan!" Sith said.

While they were arguing, Xemnas snuck out into the hall, were he heard the same two voices arguing in the closet across from his room.

"Damn, where did he got? You scared him away!"

"Me? If you didn't hit me, he wouldn't have left!"

Xemnas opened the door to find Sora dressed as Darth Vader and Riku dressed up as The Sith Lord. They were using a hologram projector, that's how they were in Xamnas's room.

"Busted," Riku said.

"You…," Xemnas said, taking out his lightsaber-like weapons.

"Run for it!" Sora shouted, but Xemnas locked the door.

"I don't think so. You two aren't going anywhere," he said, getting closer.

"Someone help us! He's going to-!"

> > > > > > > > > >

All was quiet that night as a gummi ship made it's way into the night, both it's passengers laughing like maniacs.

"Man, did he really think that he'd beat us?" Riku said, giving Sora a high five.

"'Use the force' ha! I didn't think he would actually try it!" Sora said.

"It just goes to show you that he's an idiot!" Riku said.

They both burst into laughter as they made there way back to Destiny Islands.

_**TBC...**_

I'm not a big Star Wars fan, so I had to get help from my brother with all this Star Wars stuff, so don't start telling me that it's not supposed to go like that. Not as funny as my other chapters, and it's confusing,but don't worry, I'll update soon. R&R!


	6. The Missing Candy

**Disclaimer: I'm not smart enough to make something like this.**

A Tale of Two Idiots

Chapter 6

The Missing Candy

The next day…seven in the morning…

"NNNNOOOO!"

Axel woke up with a start as he heard that high pitched scream. Which sounded just like Roxas…

Thinking the worst, Axel jumped out of bed. "I'm coming buddy!"

Axel ran through the hall in his flame colored pj's, heading to where the scream came from: the kitchen.

As he came closer, he saw Marluxia coming out of the kitchen, sighing.

"What happened?" Axel asked.

"Go and see for yourself. I need my beauty sleep you know…" Marluixa said, walking away.

"You need more than beauty sleep…" Axel muttered, entering the kitchen to find Roxas on the ground, his head in his hands, sobbing. There was an empty pixie stick straw next to him, with pixie dust all around him.

"What happened?" Axel repeated.

"Thieves! Thieves I tell you!" Roxas said, in between sobs.

"I'm confused," Axel said.

"Someone stole my candy, and the pixie sticks! All of them! And they left a ransom note!" Roxas yelled, handing Axel a note. The person who wrote it cut the words out of newspapers. It read:

_"Cough up the rest of the loot, or Mr. Mc Quack Quacks will never see the light of day ever AGAIN." _

"They stole your duck plushie?"Axel asked. He knew it meant a lot to Roxas. He gave it to him for Christmas.

"I want him back! But what are we going to do about the pixie sticks?"

"Wait, they took all of the pixie sticks? Even the limited edition sour green apple ones?"

Roxas nodded sadly as Axel fell on his knees, as if he was going to worshiping the broken pixie stick that was on the ground.

"How are we going to get hyper now? What are we going to sniff to get high? Tell me, what?" Axel yelled, yanking on Roxas's sleeves.

"Well, we can always sniff crack, but Saix does and we really don't want to end up like him…" Roxas said, picturing a cross dressing Saix.

"What will we DO?" Axel said, bursting into tears.

Roxas patted him on the shoulder. "Don't cry, Axel. We could always hotwire the Superior's car and get more from the supermarket…"

"But they were LIMITED EDITION pixie sticks," Axel said, whipping away his tears.

Roxas backed away from Axel, put his right hand over where his heart would have been, and looked at the ceiling, as if he was praying.

"Yeah, your right. Should we 'barrow' Mansex's car now?" Axel asked.

Roxas looked at him. "First, lets chance out of our pj's. Then we find the thief."

Axel blinked. "So we're playing detective?"

Roxas nodded. "The Case of the Missing Candy!"

After changing out of there pj's, they came back to the kitchen, dressed as detectives.

"The scene of the crime," Roxas said, examining the broken pixie stick tube.

"What on earth are you two doing?"

Both of them jumped as they heard another voice. They turned to see that it was just Zexion, getting a glass of water.

"What we do is none of your business," Axel said as Roxas looked at the right sleeve of Zexion's cloak. There was some small red dots, or something…

"Well, if you're here, clean up whatever's on the floor," he pointed to the candy on the ground and left.

"Man, doesn't he have anything better to do than boss us around?" Axel said as Roxas bent down on the ground to sniff the red colored sugar.

"Cherry. But why was it on Zexy's coat?" Roxas asked himself.

"There was something on Zexy's coat? Maybe it was blood," Axe said, scratching his head.

"Why would there be blood on his coat?"

"Maybe he's an assassin sent here to kill us. But anyway, why would he steal candy from a kid?"

"Ah come on! He's the third youngest member of our little 'family'. He could be a suspect," Roxas said, putting the pixie stick from the floor into a zip lock bag. "This could be evidence," he said, writing the world evidence on the bag in red letters.

"Okay, we've got one lead. Now who else would be dumb enough to steal candy from you?" Axel asked, starting to pace around the kitchen.

"Do you think Xemnas would do it?" Roxas asked. "I mean, he does hate our bloodly guts…"

"Nah, he and his poker pals have liquor. What more could they want?"

"They want us dead. You know, I think you were right with the assassins in the castle thing."

"Forget that, I was joking. Oh! Lets go to Demyx's room!" Axel yelled.

"Yeah! He could be a suspect!" Roxas said as they entered the hallway.

The two idiots were making their way down the hall as Zexion walked past them.

"Where's he going? Axel asked, seeing how Zexion was in a hurry.

"Don't know, don't care. All I want to do is to sniff my pixie sticks again," Roxas said, knocking on Demyx's bedroom door.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm right here," The Melodious Nocturne said, coming toward them from another hallway (so many halls…) "I just came back from the bathroom- why are you guys dressed like that?"

"Don't change the subject. Did you or did you not steal my candy?" Roxas said, staring at Demyx.

"Why on earth would I steal your candy? I mean, I'd probably be dead if I did," Demyx replied, entering his room.

"Oh, you'd be dead all right," Axel muttered as they followed him inside. What they saw made them gasp. Their candy was on Demyx's bedside table.

"I-It's not what it looks like! I swear, I didn't do it! I was in the bathroom the whole time!" Demyx yelled, backing into a nearby corner.

"A likely story," Axel said, summoning his chakrams as Roxas looked at the candy.

"Axel, stop!" Roxas yelled at his friend, who was inches away from setting a shaking Demyx on fire.

"Thank you," Demyx said, sinking onto his knees.

"Roxas, he stole our sniffing material. What gives?" Axel asked.

"This is defiantly our candy. But, whoever really stole them is trying to frame Demyx, I mean, why would they put it out in the open? The real criminal knew we were on their trail, that might be why they ditched it in Demyx's room, to shake us off."

"Yeah, we're buddies, why would I- you guys _sniff_ this stuff?" Demyx said, sounding really disturbed. "No wonder you two are so crazy."

"Got to hand it to you, you figured it out really well. But, we're back to square one. And we still don't know who did it," Axel said, crossing his hands over his chest.

"Well, I've got nothing to do. Maybe I can help you guys," Demyx said.

"Why not? Um, sorry about almost torching you…" Axel said.

Demyx shrugged. "Whatever. Lets go find those pixie sticks!"

"Okay, so what have you got so far?" Demyx asked as they walked through the halls.

"Well, I saw some red stuff on Zexy's cloak, I think it might have been some pixie stick powder…" Roxas answered, thinking hard about the whole thing.

"Zexy? If you ask me, he's been acting weird lately," Demyx said.

Axel rolled his eyes. "If you haven't noticed, he always acts weird."

"No, like today. Usually I'm always bugging him. But, he's been avoiding me all day."

"Maybe he's trying to get rid of you," Axel said.

"No wait, maybe he's the thief! It all makes sense!" Roxas yelled, running towards Zexion's room.

"He's finally lost it," Axel said as he and Demyx followed.

They arrived at Zexion's room, bursting in without knocking, only because if they did, he would have told them to get lost.

"Hey Zexy! I'm back!" Demyx yelled, causing Zexion to look up from his position on his bed.

"What?" he said, pausing his black iPod.

"What ya listening to, you candy stealing-" Roxas started, about to say something bad when Axel covered his mouth.

"Me? Steal your stupid treats? Why would I do that?" Zexion said as Demyx grabbed his iPod. "Hey Zexy, didn't know you listen to Evanescence."

Zexion turned a very light shade of pink and grabbed his iPod back from the musician. "What do you want?" he said, more firmly.

"Where were you this morning at six a.m.?" Axel asked, letting go of Roxas's mouth.

Zexion blinked. "Why are you interrogating me?"

"Answer the question before they get ugly," Demyx said.

Zexion sighed. "I was here, sleeping."

"What was the red stuff on your coat?" Roxas asked.

"Blood. I cut myself by accident."

Axel, Roxas, and Demyx exchanged looks. Zexion had nothing to hide.

"Fine. But we're still watching you," Axel said.

"Man, guess you'll just have to give up," Demyx said as they made their way to Roxas's room.

"But they still have Mr. Mc Quack Quack's!" Roxas said, whipping a tear away.

"Your plushie? Why don't you just give them the rest of candy?" Demyx asked.

"What candy? We have none, that's all we had," Axel said, stopping in front of Roxas's door.

"What's that?" Demyx asked as Roxas took a piece of paper off his door.

"It's another ransom!" Roxas yelled, holding it out so Axel and Demyx could read it. Again, the letters were cut out from the newspaper.

"_You have until midnight tonight or Mr. Mc Quack Quacks will be no more. Meet me at the Alley to Between, and don't be late."_

"No! Mr. Mc Quack Quacks! No!" Roxas cried, bursting into tears.

"Crap. We have a deadline now," Demyx said, sighing.

"Damn, what do we do now?" Axel asked, trying to comfort Roxas.

"Give them the candy, I want my duck back!" Roxas said as they stepped into his room.

"But who would do something like this?" Demyx asked.

Axel scratched his head. "Guess we'll have to wait and see…"

That night, the trio set out to the Alley to Between. It was almost midnight, so they had to sneak out of the castle after dinner.

"I still think Zexion did it. After all, he was in a hurry at dinner…" Axel said.

"But why would he do it? It doesn't seem like him at all…" Demyx replied.

"Lets just go. The faster we get there, the faster we get Mr. Mc Quack Quacks back," Roxas said.

When they got there, they saw a member of the Organization standing at the end of the alley, with his hood on. The figure was holding Roxas's plushie by the neck. He pointed a shaking finger to the bag of candy that Roxas was holding, then he pointed to an upside-down garbage can.

Roxas slowly walked forward, close to putting the candy to were the thief pointed, when he heard someone call his name.

"Roxas, don't do it! It's a trap!"

The four turned toward the alley entrance to find…

"Zexy?"

Zexion walked toward them and pointed a finger at the hooded figure. "Reveal yourself before I do it myself."

The figure removed his hood, making Axel, Roxas, and Demyx gasp.

"S-Saix? W-Why?" Roxas asked, not taking his eyes of his plushie.

Saix smiled wickedly. "I hate you, all of you! Hahahaha!"

"Somebody hasn't taken their medicine today," Axel said, surprised at how Saix was the candy thief.

"I'm going to kill you now! Hahahaha!" Saix yelled, getting his Claymore out.

"Is he drunk?" Demyx asked, backing away with everyone else.

"He doesn't smell drunk…" Zexion said.

"Then he's gone berserk," Axel said as they all got out their weapons, except for Zexion.

"I think I like the drunk Saix better. Still, how are we going to get my plushie back?" Roxas said as Saix started walking toward them, an evil smile on his stupid elf face.

"Look, just keep him busy while I get your stuff back," Zexion said.

Demyx sighed. "Fine."

"Charge!" Roxas yelled, with both Keyblades held in front of them.

Axel and Demyx followed, screaming like morons.

"Water!" Demyx yelled, dropping tons of water on the elf man.

Saix slipped on the water, but he balanced himself on his weapon. "Gah!"

"Take this you candy stealing butthole!" Roxas screamed, slamming Oathkeeper and Oblivion onto Saix's head.

"Ow…"

"I'll make it all better, okay?" Axel said, throwing a fireball at Siax's feet.

"Holy shit!" Saix yelled, running into the alley wall and falling on the ground, unconscious.

"Should we do something about him?" Demyx asked as Axel and Roxas high fived each other.

"Leave him there, he deserves whatever's gonna happen to him," Roxas said as Zexion walked up to them.

"Here's your stuff," he said, pushing them into Roxas's hands.

"Mr. Mc Quack Quacks! You're alive!" Roxas yelled, hugging the plushie to death.

Axel and Demyx blinked. Since when was Zexion ever nice?

"Who are you and what have you done to my best friend?" Demyx asked.

"Why did you help us? We deserve an explaination. Now," Axel said as they started walking back to the castle.

Zexion sighed. "Look, I heard something early this morning, so I went to see what it was. It turned out to be Saix, laughing to himself as he walked out of the kitchen. He had a bag with him, later I found out it was candy, your candy. I followed him to his room, where I found out his plan: he wanted to use the duck and the candy to get to you two," he pointed at Axel and Roxas, "He finally decided to get rid of the idiots of the Organization. Demyx was just a bonus."

"Hey! But why'd you help us?" Demyx asked.

Zexion sighed. "I have no idea…"

"That means that Zexy has a nice side! I never would have guessed!" Axel said, slapping Zexion on the back.

"That hurt," Zexy muttered, opening the front door of the castle and making his way to his room.

**About Zexy being the third youngest member...it's either him or Larxene 'cause Roxas is the youngest, then comes Demyx (he's probably around 18 or something) then I just guessed that it would be Zexy. If I'm wrong, please tell me. Read and Review!**


	7. Toys Are Fun

**Yeah...I have a sick sense of humor...and a weird imagination.**

**Disclaimer: I don't Kingdom Hearts...or anything else in this story**

A Tale of Two Idiots

Chapter 7

Toys Are Fun

Nighttime. Rain poured down in The World That Never Was, as everyone found shelter. The thunder banged down as a small little figure, at least a half a foot tall, walked through the pouring thunderstorm. It stopped, standing on a hill overlooking The Castle That Never Was.

"He, he, he, he, he," it muttered, walking down the hill.

"My god, is there _anything _to do? At _all_?" Demyx said, sitting in the living room with Axel, Roxas, and Zexion.

"Try counting Saix's empty wine bottles," Axel said, trying to play Roxas's DS. "Die, dammit, die already!"

"What are you playing?" Demyx asked.

"None of your beeswax," Axel replied, muttering stuff like 'crap', 'shit', and the occasional 'you son of a -'.

Demyx sighed. Zexion was reading a book, with earplugs in his ears so he didn't have to hear Axel curse under his breath. Roxas was in a nearby corner, sniffing pixie sticks, and laughing like a murder when he paused to take a deep, deep breath, then going back to sniffing his pixie sticks again.

Demyx sighed again, then went over to Roxas. "Mind if I join you?"

Roxas looked up, laughing like a hyena. "S-S-Sure t-t-t-thing b-b-b-buddy," Roxas said, handing The Melodious Nocturne a handful of sticks.

"Hey, can't beat 'em, join 'em," Demyx said to himself as he opened up one of the sticks, but then they all heard a large bang of thunder, then they were in darkness.

"Eeeeekkkkkk!"

"Saix, quit screaming like a little girl!"

"I'm dead, I'm dead I tell you, first a bright light, then darkness! One question, am I in heaven or hell?"

"Shut up, Lexaeus!"

"Larxene? Where the hell are you?"

"I felt something against my leg!"

"Must've been Vexen's latest experiment…"

"Larxene! Fix the damn generator already!"

The whole Organization was running around, since they all wanted to know what was going on (idiots…). They obviously never had a power outage before.

"Ah! Something's on me!"

"Marluxia! I knew you were a he/she, but I never knew you were gay!"

"Axel, when I get my hands on you…!"

"Be-yotch!"

"Who said that?"

"Be-yotch!"

"I'm going to kill someone!"

Then the power came back on.

"There. The generator's fixed. Now leave me the hell alone," Larxene said, storming off to her room.

"Man, I never thought I'd be so happy to see the light," Demyx said, getting up off the floor.

Another crash of thunder was heard, but this time the lights stayed on.

_Ding-dong._

"Yay, the muffin man!" Roxas yelled, running off to answer the door.

"What the-? Never mind, he's as crazy as Saix when he's drunk," Demyx said, shaking his head.

Axel sighed as they followed Roxas. He was at the front door, looking at the floor.

"What you looking at?" Axel asked.

"Furby!" Roxas said, holding a black Furby in his arms (did I mention that it had BLOOD RED EYES?).

"What?" Axel said, staring at the toy in disgust.

"I read about them," Zexion said, coming toward them. "They're supposed to be super smart, but, one should not believe everything that they read…" he then left to go to his room.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Demyx asked as Roxas started taking to the Furby.

"What's six divided by two?" Roxas asked.

"Three," the Furby said.

"Wow! It is smart!"

"A third grader would have known that," Axel said, crossing his arms over his oh-so-skinny chest.

"Kiss my furry little ass, you bitch." the Furby said. "He, he, he…"

The three Nobodies stared at it, with there mouths wide open.

"Oh, it's smart all right. Smart mouthed," Demyx said.

"Ah, it's just angry 'cause Axel insulted it," Roxas said, petting it.

"Oh sure, then why did it's eyes flash red?" Axel said, staring at it with a certain feeling. "I haven't set fire to something in months, and if it doesn't shut its 'super smart' trap, it's gonna be the first on my 'to burn' list."

"Are you smoking something?" it said again.

Axel took his chakrams out and started backing away. "Roxas, no offense, but anything that's not human and anything that has a dirty sailor man's mouth is trouble. I suggest you get rid of it ASAP."

"Roxas, Axel doesn't like me, wah," it said, starting to make crying noises.

"Axel you hurt it's feelings, apologize!"

"To that piece of junk? It's evil I tell you!"

"Fine, be that way. Come on Demyx, lets go play with it by ourselves," Roxas said, glancing at Demyx.

"Actually, I gotta go take a nice, long bath," he said, running down a random hallway.

"Fine!" They both yelled, going their separate ways.

"Man, I can't believe I've been replaced by a piece of garbage," Axel said, walking up to Xigbar's room.

"Xigbar! You home?" Axel yelled, kicking The Free Shooter's door.

A minute later, Xigbar opened the door. "Why if it isn't Axel. Where's Roxas?"

"He's replaced me with a smart ass," Axel said. "You ain't asleep yet?"

"It's only eight! Come on, I need to someone to play Halo with."

Axel shrugged. "Whatever floats your boat…"

_One hour later…_

"I win again!" Xigbar screamed, punching the air.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Axel said, thinking about something else. "I'm gonna leave now."

Xigbar didn't hear him, and instead continued celebrating his victory.

"Man, everything's boring when someone doesn't have a sugar crazed nut doing something stupid," Axel muttered to himself, walking past Roxas's open door. Something caught his eye, so he went inside the empty room.

"He must've went to take a bath," he said as he heard a noise. He looked at the window, then was pushed to the ground as something jumped on him.

"Holy-" Axel started, staring wide eyed at the Furby that was sitting of his chest, a missile launcher in its hand.

"I going to kill you now, jackass," it said, smiling a very evil smile on its stupid plastic face, eyes red.

"Damn it," Axel said as he heard the door open.

"Axel! How _could_ you?" Roxas said. "Attempting to shoot my little Furby!"

At first, Axel was confused, but then he figured it out: the Furby, being the smart ass that it was, dropped the missile launcher in Axel's hand, then, put itself in his other hand.

"It's not what it looks like! It tried to shoot me!"

"Look Axel, just because it's smarter than you, doesn't mean you have to shoot it!"

"Weren't you listening to me? _It_ tried to shoot _me_."

"Come on! You're just jealous!"

"Jealous! I'll show you jealous!"

"Fine! Be that way! I always do what you want to do, so why can't you just stop complaining?"

Axel had had enough. "You obviously like that garbage more then me!" He stormed out.

"Zexion! Open up!" Axel shouted, slamming his fist into the emo's door.

"For crying out loud -, oh, it's just you," he said, rubbing his eyes. "Why don't you go to sleep already?"

"I need someone to help me with my problems. I asked Xigbar, but he ran away screaming like a little girl."

"Hm. Must not have gotten over the therapy season he had with Xemnas."

"Whatever. Just help me," Axel said, going into Zexion's room without him giving an answer.

Zexion sighed. "So what's your problem?"

Axel sat down. "Me and Roxas got into a fight. He likes that evil toy thing better than me."

"Friends have a lot of fights, but it still works out okay. Remember how you flipped out when he left the Organization? He came back eventually."

"What's your point emo boy?"

"He'll get bored with that thing someday, just give it time."

"Have you ever been through therapy?"

"No, why do you say that?"

"You talk about it like you've been through the same thing…"

"Shut up and let me sleep I peace."

Axel was walking through the hallway. _Zexy's right. Roxas'll throw that thing out eventually. But it's so…so evil. _He walked past Roxas's room when he heard a noise again. He quietly opened the door and stepped inside. Roxas was sleeping peacefully on his bed…but something else was on it. With a closer look, he saw the evil Furby, holding the missile launcher in front of him, all while muttering 'he, he, HE'.

"Roxas! Wake up! It's gonna shot you!" Axel shouted as Roxas woke up, with the Furby making an innocent face.

"Hello," it said, still holding the missile launcher as Roxas stared at it with horror.

"W-Why are you holding that?"

"Prepare to die, bastard. He, he, he, he, HE."

"Run for your life!" Roxas screamed, running down the hall with Axel, screaming.

"Not so fast you buttholes, I'll get you! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Where should we hide?" Roxas said, turning corners and running through doors.

"Somewhere where that _thing_ won't find us," Axel said, spotting a closet. "In there. Quick!"

They dove into the closet as fast as they could, and stayed as quite as mice.

"Do you think it lost us?" Roxas asked.

"I've got you now. He, he, he, he, he, he, HE." It said, starting to hit the door with the missile launcher.

"Axel, I'm so sorry! I should have let you burn it!" Roxas said, crying. "Now we're going to die at the hands of a demented Furby!"

"I shouldn't have yelled at you," Axel said, "Friends?" Axel said, holding his hand out in front of him.

Roxas nodded. "At least we'll die together."

"Make this easier for me and open the DAMN DOOR. I'll make this as painless as possible."

They were crying and hugging each other as the Furby continued banging on the door, close to ripping it off its hinges. Then something happened.

"Stupid scientists! Can't they just get over it already? Just because they lost the science contest doesn't mean that they could send a dumb Furby to kill us! Can't they just forget it?"

They peeked out the door to find Vexen beating the stuffing out of the Furby, with his foot. The Furby lay dead at his feet.

"Stupid piece of junk," Vexen muttered. "And why doesn't Xigbar put his guns away? We have people who act like children running around this place," he said, walking off to his lab.

Axel and Roxas stepped out into the hallway, staring at the evil toy.

"Hey Axel, we should give it a proper burial," Roxas said, a mischievous smile on his evil face.

Axel also had an evil smile on his face. "We should, shouldn't we?"

And so, they began the ceremony. First they burned it, put it in a shoebox, taped the box with extra strong tape, put it on a small raft, waited until it was in the middle of the lake in the backyard, then threw fireballs and rocks at it until it sank. And they laughed their butts off.

"Man, what do we do now?" Axel said.

Roxas thought for a minute. "We could always moon the whole Organization…"

"Well, since it's almost midnight…ah, what the heck, lets go piss everyone off."

So they ended up running through the castle with no pants on, making everyone so pissed, that they chased the idiots around, passing out because they were too tired to run.

But on the roof, a small thing stood, holding a missile launcher, all while muttering "He, he, he, he, HE."

**So...do you like? Read and Review while I try to get more ideas...and thanks to all of you who reviewed last time!**


	8. Ghosts and Bunnies

**Sorry for not updating for so long...blame it on school.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts**

A Tale of Two Idiots

Chapter 8

Ghosts and Bunnies

In a cave, a few miles away from The Castle That Never Was, two small figures stood, facing each other as the storm outside continued to rage.

"So let me get this straight," a small, squeaky voice said, "you want me and my army to aid you so you can destroy those pathetic morons at that weird castle?"

"He, he, he," the other figure said. "That's the freakin' plan. So are you interested?"

"Well, why not? We did try to kill them once, but we failed," the squeaky voiced animal said, starting to laugh. "Muhahahahahaha!"

"He, he, he, he, he, he, he," the demented toy said, and they continued to laugh has the thunder crashed, revealing a crazed bunny and a revenge seeking Furby.

"Man, will this rain ever stop?" Axel asked, staring out the window as another roll of thunder was heard. "Hey, Roxas, did you hear me?"

Roxas looked up. "What? Oh, yeah, I heard you."

Axel looked at his beat friend. "Are you sure? You've been really quiet since we killed that demon from hell last night."

Roxas sighed. The "demon from hell" was a demented Furby that Roxas had found on the doorstep the day before. And when he and Axel found out it's secret, it threatened to kill them with a missile launcher. But Vexen had walked past and killed it, then the two idiots cremated it. They drowned it, while throwing fireballs and stones at the box it was in.

"If you're thinking about that Furby, just forget it already! It's swimming with the croc in the lake. Ain't no way that thing could've gotten out of that damn box. We stole that tape from Larxene, and it stick to anything and everything," Axel said.

The thunder crashed again, and Roxas felt a chill run down his spine. _That thing's still alive. _"I guess your right. Hey, lets go see what Larxene's doing," Roxas said, trying to change the subject.

"She's probably making more Voodoo dolls, but still, we could try to torture her…" Axel said, walking down the hallway with Roxas at his side.

"She'd probably enjoy it though," Roxas said, his mind somewhere else.

The two idiots walked up to Larxene's door, hearing someone laugh inside.

"A little bit of this, and some of bat wings…muhahahahaha! Some crap of a lizard…an egg of a dragon…and a dragonfly…muhahahaha! My master piece is almost done! Muhahahahahahahaha!"

"What is she doing in there?" Axel asked, walking slowly away.

"I don't want to know…," Roxas said, putting his hands over his mouth. "But whatever it is, it is defiantly something gross."

They decided that whatever Larxene was making was probably going to be used against them, so they went to Axel's room to play some video games. But, the lights went out. Again. Oh boy, they were gonna have fun that night.

"Larxene, I command you to beat the living shit out of the generator this instance."

"You're not my mother Saix. And for that matter, go fix it yourself you dirty bitch!"

"Why I never- ouch…"

Axel sighed. "Morons," he muttered under his breath as he brought out one of his chakrams. "Why don't they just ask nicely?" he wondered to himself as the chakram burst into flames.

"I've seen the light! And it burns!" Lexaeus yelled out, shielding his eyes and running away.

Roxas sighed as a burst of thunder crashed, making him fall backward, shaking.

"What's wrong? You okay?" Axel asked as Roxas stared at the window in horror.

"I-It's the demon from hell…t-the evil Furby…it's come to kill me!" Roxas yelled, yanking Axel's cloak.

Axel was really confused. _Didn't we put it out of it's misery yesterday? _"Roxas, you're seeing things," Axel said, trying to comfort his frightened friend. But it wasn't working.

"Axel! I know what I saw! It's shadow was in the window! And it was _laughing_. Laughing like Larxene when she's killed something!"

"Okay, okay. I'll go out there and see if that monster is out there, okay?" Axel said, feeling like a parent telling his kid there is no such think as a monster in your closet. But he's wrong, Very wrong. There are monsters in people's closet. And they party like it's the last day of their lives. Back to the story.

Roxas nodded, a little afaird of being in the hall alone while Axel went to check for the crazy Furby. _It wants me dead. He wants my dead body so he can eat it! _Roxas thought, thinking of all the times when he stayed up until midnight with Axel to watch horror movies.

Roxas took a deep breath. _That's the last time I'm watching horror movies…'cause now a evil Furby is out to get me in my sleep! Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! _He ran around, panicking, when the front door opened, revealing Axel, who was dripping from head to toe.

"You're alive!" Roxas yelled, hugging Axel, who stared in shock at the Keyblade bearer.

"Roxas-" Axel began, but got cut off as he heard laughing…

"Peak a boo…HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Both keyblade master and pyromaniac looked up to see the Furby and all it's stupid glory sitting on the window ledge. Blood red eyes stared down Axel and Roxas. There were scars on it's eyes, and it's feet were muddy.

"Hello…friends…do you want to play with me?" It said, smiling like a bank robber who was getting ready to mug someone. Or nobody, depending on who you are.

"Roxas?"

"Yes?"

"On the count of three."

"Okay…"

"THREE!"

They both ran through the hall as fast as lightning, which was still crashing to the gound just outside. They ran into the first room they saw, which unfortunately, was Larxene's. But they don't know that…and it's best that they don't.

They stepped inside, suddenly realizing what room they were in. They tried going back out, but the door locked itself, and they were trapped.

They both gulped, looking at Larxene, who hadn't even noticed that they were there. Dressed up like a witch, complete with hat, broom, and robe, she stood next to her big pot, mixing something. Now they had all the reason to call her "Larxene the Sadist Witch."

"What do you two want?" she asked, finally looking up from her bubbling pot.

"W-We're hiding from a murderous Furby," Roxas said, staring at the large pot with fear.

"So we'll be leaving soon," Axel said, backing up against the wall.

Larxene made a face. "Furby you say…I used to have one when I was younger."

"Did it cuss like a dirty sailor man?" Roxas asked.

"Yes, we used to have so much fun."

"Did it carry nuclear weapons?" Axel asked.

"We used to create atomic bombs in my basement."

Axel and Roxas stared at each other, mouths hanging on the ground. They never though that Larxene actually _created _nuclear weapons before. But now that they knew, they were scared. _Very_ scared.

"So…what brought up that question?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"W-We're being chased by a Furby, and it's trying to kill us!" Roxas shouted.

"You speak evil Furby talk, so go out there and tell it to leave us alone!" Axel yelled as they heard the Furby getting closer to their hiding place.

Larxene sighed. "What do I get out of this?"

The two idiots looked at each other. They weren't expecting that.

But they didn't have time to answer, because the door fell down, and from the smoke, the Furby emerged.

Larxene gasped. "Evilbutt?"

The black-and-blood-red-eyed Furby stared at the sadist, it's face forming a smile. "Hello, Learen."

"I go by Larxene now," she replied, also smiling. "What brings you to my neck of the woods, Evilbutt?"

Axel and Roxas stared at Larxene, then the Furby, then at Larxene again. "You know this thing?" Roxas asked.

"Didn't I just tell you that I used to have a Furby?"

"I didn't think that the demon from hell was _yours_," Axel said as the Furby gave him a death glare. "But it makes sense."

"Shut up," it said, then it turned back to Larxene.

Larxene smiled in remeberence. "I remember it like it was yesterday…I got you for my 13th birthday…we were friends so fast. Cussing at little children, blowing up trash cans," she sighed, "it was the life…until you turned on me." Larxene glared at the evil toy. "You were going to kill me in my sleep, but I woke up just in time to catch you in the act."

"B-But Larxene," it said, stuttering, "you don't know what those evil scientists did to me. They kidnaped me when you went to school, and reprogrammed me. They wanted me to kill you."

"Larxene! For the first time in my life, from the deepest part of my heart, DON'T LISTEN TO IT, IT'S EVIL!" Axel yelled.

"It's wants to kill you again!" Roxas screamed.

"One, you don't have a heart, and two, why would it want to hurt me? And I never did like scientists, I never did like Vexen either…" Larxene said.

"Yes, why would I kill her when we can kill you two?" the Furby said, turning toward Axel and Roxas.

"Shit," Axel said, as Roxas yanked on the doorknob. "It's stuck! There's no way out!"

"You got that right," Larxene said, taking out her knifes.

Axel looked around, trying to find another escape route. "Roxas, the window!" Both ran past Larxene and Evilbutt, I mean the evil Furby. They quickly jumed out the window and landed on the wet grass. The rain was still pouring heavily as they got up. Thunder sounded again.

"Lets get inside before we get electrocuted!" Roxas shouted so he could be heard through the rain.

"By who- Larxene or the storm? Whatever, lets go!" Axel yelled. Above them, they could hear Larxene cussing at them.

They ran through the front door, stumbling through the darkness.

"Die you bastards, DIE! Muhahahahahaha!

"What is that?" Roxas asked as Axel took out one of his chakrams to light the hallway. They walked into the living room where they saw the Organizaton members fighting off small, cute, fuzzy, and adorable little bunnies. Oh yeah, the rabid bunnies were armed with AK47's. And they were winning! Muhahahahaha-cough-hahahahaha!

"Holy fucking shit…" Axel said, mouth hanging in pure shock and surprise.

"Oh my god," Roxas said. "It's an invasion of rabid bunnies! Run for your lives!" He started running around in circles.

Axel grabbed his shoulders and shuck him. "Snap out of it!"

"Okay…but what do we do about _them_? Plus we have to evade Larxene and her evil toy! What do we _do_?" he burst into tears.

_No more sugar for you._ While they stood there, the Organization members were fighting off the evil bunnies. Xemnas and the leader bunny were having a face-off.

"I'm the better leader you rotten ecuse for flesh and bone!" Xemnas yelled, deflecting the bullets from the AK47 with his light saber things.

"You are an idiot, and you have no heart! But _I _do! Muhahahahahahaha!" the black-bunny-with-red-eyes said, in a _very _squecky voice.

"Why you stupid-" Xemnas yelled.

Demyx, however, was hiding behind a couch, hugging his sitar for dear life. "Please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me, _please_ don't hurt me!" he muttered, rocking back forth as bullets and flower petals missed his head.

Saix was in a corner, drooling like a dog that had rabies, holding his claymore and in berserk mode. The bunnies were running away from him, screaming their cute little heads off.

Roxas was still panicking. "What should we _do_? Hey, where's Vexen? He's not fighting the rabid bunnies!"

Axel suddenly got an idea. "That's it! He could help us!"

Roxas looked at Axel, really confused, as he dragged him through the dark halls to Vexen's room.

They made it, banging on the door as if their lives depended on it.

"For the love of- oh, it's you two," Vexen said as he opened the door.

"Help us!" They cried as they heard Larxene yelling.

"Where are you two! I just want to play a little game…"

They gulped and dove into Vexen's room, slamming the door behind them.

"I don't know what this is about-" Vexen started.

"Cut the crap old man,"Axel said.

"I'm not old."

"Vexen, we're in serious shit! Rabid bunnies have gotten into the castle, Larxene is acting like a sadist bitch again, and the Furby you killed yesterday? It's come back to haunt us!" Roxas yelled, going hysterical again.

Vexen scratched his chin. "This is serious…"

"You only _just_ realized that?" Axel shouted, all of them hearing Xigbar and the bunnies having a shooting match in the hallway.

Vexen sighed. "Alright then, follow me," he walked into his closet with Axel and Roxas close behind him. They went all the way to the back of the closet, where Vexen opened a door, after typing in a few digits into a electronic lock. They all walked in, going down a small flight of stairs. They reached another door with another electric lock, and after opening that, they all stepped into a room.

The room was fairly large, about the size of Xemnas's bedroom. There was a small layer of mist on the ground, giving the room an erie feel. It was cold, with potion vials and tubes lining the walls and tables. There was a cupboards labled "dangerous", "toxic", "failed", and "finished". Vexen walked over to the one labled "dangerous" and opened it, searching through vials that were also labled.

"Hm…lets see…no, not this one…maybe another…?"

"Make up your mind already!" Roxas yelled hysterically as Axel shivered from the cold.

But Vexen didn't seem to hear him. (Dumb old guy, took so freakin' long to beat…). He grabbed another vial, took a long look at it, and nodded. He took the lid off, put a sprayer thing on it, and handed it to Roxas. "Spray the bunnies with this."

"What will it do?" Roxas asked curiously.

Vexen smiled like the evil mad scientist that he was. "You'll find out soon enough."

Roxas looked at it for several moments, and handed it to Axel. "_You_ go take care of the rabid bunnies. _I _have a score to settle with a certain demon from hell."

"B-But it's bad enough that those bunnies have machine guns, that thing might have nuclear weapons! It'll kill you!" Axel yelled out.

"It wants me, so I'll kill it myself." With that, Roxas left the underground lab.

"How touching," Vexen said sarcastically as Axel raced out, chakram and potion in hand, to stop the AK47 carrying rabid bunnies.

"Hey, Evilbutt! Larxene!" Roxas yelled out, standing on small hill that was outside. It was still pouring, so Roxas had put his hood up. After getting out of Vexen's lab, he found the front door wide open. And the footprints leading out looked like Larxene's.

"Show yourselfs!" Roxas yelled again as more thunder crashed down.

"He, he, he, he, he…"

Roxas looked in front of him, only to see the Furby a few feet away.

"He, he, he…" it said again, smiling.

_I really don't like the way that thing's smiling_, Roxas thought, backing away a little.

"He, he!" this time it pulled a missile launcher out from behind it's back. "Guess what I have…"

_Xigbar's favorite weapon?_ "Let's settle this!" Roxas yelled, pulling out his two Keyblades.

"Suit yourself," it said, launching a missile at Roxas, who ducked just in time.

"Where's Larxene?" Roxas asked, just now noticing that she wasn't there.

"She isn't avaible right now, please leave a freakin' message, he, he, he, he, he, he, he!"

"We hated her, but that doesn't mean you had to kill her!" Roxas yelled, slamming a keblade onto to the Furby.

"Who said she was dead?" it said, shooting at Roxas, who managed to avoid them again.

"No more games," it said, aiming at Roxas.

Meanwhile, Axel ran around the castle, spraying the bunnies with the potion that Vexen gave him. As he sprayed them, they froze, stared blankly at the ceiling, and started running around in circles, crying out hystrically. And running into walls. And screaming bloody murder. And leaving the AK47's on the floor, where Xigbar picked them up greedily, while muttering "Your daddy's new favorite weapon, ever since my missile launcher went missing."

Axel fell onto the living room couch, tired after spraying all the rabid bunnies. "I…I hope Roxas is okay with…with that demon thing," he said, catching his breath. Vexen walked up to him, grabbing the empty potion vial. "You used it all! How much did you spray on the bunnies?"

Axel rolled his eyes. "Apparently a lot since they screamed their way out of the castle while screaming bloody murder-" The front door burst open, and for one second Axel thought that the Furby had won.

"That thing is as dead as Saix's brain," Roxas said, taking his hood off.

"Good lord, you're alive!" Axel yelled, hugging Roxas to death.

"And I'm gonna be dead if you keep hugging me like this," Roxas said as Axel let go. "Sorry buddy."

Vexen rolled his eyes and turned around to go to his room, muttering something about making more of the potion that Axel wasted.

Larxene climbed through her window, landing on her hard bedroom floor. "Curse that thing! CURSE IT!" She got up and pulled a voodoll making kit out from under her bed. "It's entered a world of hurt now, and if it thinks its gonna be safe in hell, it better think again." She pulled out a couple of materials, and started laughing like a murder.

**I tired to put dividers in to divide the scenes, but when I put on the internet, they always disappear to who knows where...well, anyway, hope you enjoyed, read and review please! **


	9. The Toilet Strikes Back

**So sorry for not updating for so long. Hope you guys enjoy, thanks to anyone who reviewed last time!**

**Disclaimer: I owe my brother five dollars, how the hell can I buy Kingdom Hearts off of Tetsuya Nomura? **

* * *

A Tale of Two Idiots

Chapter 9

The Toilet Strikes Back

"I'm a pretty little bishie, yes I am! I'm the prettest bishie in all the worlds!" Marluxia sang happily, dancing around in his greenhouse while picking the Organization's breakfast. Yes, you heard right, _breakfast._ The Organization never went to Publix unless it was absolutely necessary. Oh, Organization XIII in Publix…that's a scary thought ain't it?

Well anyway, they never went shopping 'cause they didn't want to pay five dollars for overpriced Tropicana Orange Juice…enough of my life story, back to this one.

Marluxia growed food (who in their right mind would let him do _that_? He could poison them for all we know!) and Xigbar shoot animals to get meat (run Bambi! RUN!). So they never got any artificial crap in their food. No, their food was _natural._

While he was picking fruits and vegetables, Marluxia raised his nose in the air. He could have sworn he smelled smoke…but it was five in the morning, who would be up this early? Well, beside for himself and Lexaeus, 'cause they cooked, but that was out of the question.

He continued his merry way through his garden, when he stopped dead in his tracks.

There, a few feet in front of him, was a pile of ashes where his pumpkins used to be.

"OMG, my beautiful pumpkins! Who would do such a thing?" he asked no one in particular when he remembered something. The smoke he smelled earlier…

"Damn you Axel!" he screamed, even though the said pyromaniac would never be able to hear him from inside his glass greenhouse. Marluxia picked up the food he had picked, and made his way to the door, which was connected to his room.

He marched through the door into the hall, making his way to the kicthen. He'd get his revenge on Axel later, right now, he was starving!

* * *

Axel smiled to himself in a creepy way. On his way to the dining room, he bumped into Roxas, who had just come out of the bathroom.

"Good morning Axel," Roxas said, yawning.

"Hey Roxas, you'll never believe what I just did!"

"What?" Roxas asked with interest, knowing that whatever he did was probably going to get him under house arrest.

Axel snickered. "I snuck into the Sugar Plum Fairy's garden and burned _her_ prized pumpkins."

At that, Roxas burst into laughter. _Marluxia is gonna _murder _Axel! It took him months to grow those things!_

"Come on, lets go before he come after me," Axel said, dragging Roxas along.

* * *

Breakfast went well, if you don't count Marluixa giving Axel a million death glares, then, everything was as normal as ever.

Larxene sat down on her favorite chair in the library, opened her favorite book, and stated reading. Minutes later, she was interrupted.

"What?" Larxene snapped, glaring at the person who had disturbed her.

It turned out to be Marluxia.

"What do you want?"

"I need your help. Do you know the exact size of Axel's head? And Roxas's head?" the Graceful Assasin asked.

"Excuse me?" Larxene said. _What the hell?_

Marluxia sighed. "You make voodoo dolls, right? Then you should know how big their heads are."

"Sorry Petal Boy, that's not how it works. I can't help you, and why do you need that sort of information anyway?"

One thing was for sure, Larxene had never seen Marluxia smile that way before.

* * *

"Hurry up Roxas, he's coming!" Axel whispered from his hiding place in a closet.

"I'm almost done," Roxas said writing something on a piece of paper, in big handwriting so people could read it, with a permanent marker. After he was done, he put some duck tape on the edge, near the top. "Done!" he said, getting up and standing next to Axel, peering out into the hallway, waiting for their victim to pass by.

Just then, Xemnas walked past, and when he went further down the hall, Axel and Roxas ran toward him. Axel ran past their Superior, and Roxas purposely slammed into his back, piece of paper in hand.

They both crashed to the floor, with Xemnas cursing under his breath. "Will you get the hell off of me!" "Sorry Superior…" Roxas said, trying to hide his smile as he got up. "I was chasing Axel…"

"Why? Never mind, I don't want to know! And no running in the halls!" Xemnas barked, stomping away.

Axel and Roxas smiled, keeping their laugher in. Xemnas's back was facing them as he walked away, so they could read the sign on his back with ease.

When Xemnas was out of sight, Axel and Roxas fell on the floor, laughing like hyenas.

"Oh, oh my fucking god!" Axel said, inbetween laughs. "He is going to kill us when he finds out!"

"But he's not going to find out, is he?" Roxas said as they both laughed their asses off.

* * *

Xemnas walked into the kitchen so he could get a cup of coffee. He saw Luxord next to the coffee machine, obviously having the same idea as himself. "Luxord, would you mind making two while you're at it?" Luxord nodded, and went over to the other side of the kitchen to get another cup.

As he returned, he read what was on Xemnas's back.

"B-Bloody hell!" Luxord screamed, stepping back in disgust. "I did not need to know that!"

Xemnas turned around. "What are you talking about?" He never got an answer because Luxord was already out the door.

_Must have had too much booze last night, he's hallucinating! _Xemnas thought, making his coffee and leaving. He was making his way back to his room when he passed Demyx.

The Melodious Nocturne stared at his back in horror. "Oh my god, dude! That's _sick!_ Keep what you do with him a secret! Oh man, my poor little eyes…" He ran through a random door, leaving the other older man confused.

Xemnas blinked. _I thought I told Luxord to keep the booze away from the younger members._ He brushed it off and continued to his room.

* * *

Marluxia and Larxene smiled evilly Lexaeus finished up.

"Tell me again, why did you order two new toilets, both different sizes?" The Silent Hero asked, getting up.

"Because the olds ones were, well, old," Marluxia said, unable to make up a decent excuse.

Lexaeus rolled his eyes and left, wondering why Larxene was in the guys' bathroom.

"Finally, I thought he'd never finish," Larxene said. "I got to hand it to you Marluxia. I'd never thought you'd come up with something like this."

Marluxia smiled wickedly. "This will be our revenge. They will pay for burning my prized pumpkins."

Larxene stared at him. "They burnt your garden again?"

Marluxia didn't hear her due to the fact that he was laughing his evil laugh.

* * *

Xemnas sighed, stepping out of the kitchen again. After walking past Demyx, he crashed into Xigbar, dropping his coffee. Xigbar had slowly backed away, for some unknown reason, saying, "Dude, like, dude, that's so freakin' disturbing!"

Xemnas shock his head. _What on earth is wrong with everyone? I really don't think it's the booze._ He walked past Saix's room, as the said Lunar Diviner came out. A few seconds later, he felt someone tap his shoulder. Xemnas turned around to see a red faced Saix, holding a piece of paper in his hands.

"This was on your back," Saix said slowly, trying not to go berserk. Xemnas took the paper and read it:

_I had sex with Saix last night, and boy, did I enjoy it!_

Xemnas's face turned dark red, along with Saix. "Why, no, _who_ is the asshole that put this on my back?" Xemnas said, close to going completely crazy. Then realization hit him like a brick.

_(flashback)_

_They both crashed to the floor, with Xemnas cursing under his breath. "Will you get the hell off of me!" "Sorry Superior…" Roxas said, trying to hide his smile as he got up. "I was chasing Axel…"_

_"Why? Never mind, I don't want to know! And no running in the halls!" Xemnas barked, stomping away._

_(end flashback)_

"They did this…WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THOSE TWO BITCHES!"

* * *

"I wonder…" Axel said, leaning against Roxas's bed, "did Xemnas ever have love with Saix?"

"If he did, he'd be gay. And I'd move to the north pole if I ever saw him do it," Roxas said, flipping through the skater magazine that he was reading.

"I'd move to Port Royal. At least there's booze there."

"There's also water, and pirate ships."

"I don't mind the pirate ships, but-"

The door to the room crashed open, making the two idiots jump.

In the doorway, was Larxene and Marluxia, and Axel and Roxas really didn't like the way they were smiling.

"I didn't do it!" Roxas yelled, making his way to his window, but Marluxia ran up and tackled him. "Not so fast!" "Somebody help! He's molesting me!" Roxas yelled, making Marluxia glare at him.

Meanwhile, Larxene had pinned Axel to the wall with her knifes. "What have I ever done to you?" "Nothing, I'm just bored," Larxene smiled a very sick little smile.

"Help! The Sugar Plum Fairy is harassing me!" Roxas yelled again, as Marluxia dragged him out the door by his feet.

"What are you doing to him?" Axel asked, still pinned to the wall.

"Don't worry, you're going to get the same treatment," Larxene said.

Axel really didn't like where this was going.

* * *

"No, no, NO!" Roxas yelled. "I had nothing to do with it!"

"It was my idea, he was still sleeping!" Axel yelled, trying not to get pushed into the bathroom stall by Marluxia, who had his scythe out.

"Who cares? You two have caused too much trouble this week," Larxene said, grabbing hold of a stuggling Roxas, who was going hysterical.

"Yeah, and we spent a fortune trying to get toilets the size of your heads," Marluxia said, grabbing hold of Axel's neck.

"No, NO!"

"They're raping us!"

* * *

"Let me go Saix. Let me get them right now!" Xemnas screamed, pacing around in his room.

"Calm down Superior. Don't forget, your party's tomorrow. And anyway, I heard Marluxia and Larxene are in the bathroom with Axel and Roxas at this very moment. Let them take care of them for now," Saix said, _really_ trying to control himself before breaking out his Claymore and going crazy.

Xemnas took a deep breath. "Fine, but I swear, if they do something stupid again, I will, and can, kill them."

* * *

Axel and Roxas collapsed on the floor in Axel's bedroom, soaking wet. Their hair was a mess, and they were pissed. _Real_ pissed.

"That's…that's it. This calls for revenge," Axel said, shaking like a dog would after coming out of the water.

Roxas grabbed a nearby towel, surprised that Axel had one in his room. "I know, but what can we do?"

Axel thought for a moment. "Xemnas's party thing is tomorrow, so, we could do something, but I don't know what…"

A grin started forming on Roxas's face. "I think I just might have an idea…"

* * *

**They got a swirly! Hahahaha! Sick mind Roxas, sick mind. Yes, very weird chapter. Make me happy and please review!**


	10. Xemnas's Wrath

**Sniff...and so it ends. But...!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Did any of you guys hear 'bout KH2 Final Mix & Re: CoM...?**

* * *

A Tale of Two Idiots

Chapter 10

Xemnas's Wrath

The day before, Roxas had shown Axel some ideas that he had written in a notebook. Picking the best ones, they set up a idiot proof plan, calculating every possible move…

"Okay, so we'll do this, and this, oh! This one's good too," Axel said, evil smile on his face, looking through the book again.

"Yeah, this one is good…" Roxas muttered. It was six in the morning, and they were trying to get ready to execute Operation: Revenge for Xemnas's "This is the day I turned EVIL" party. Why on earth would anyone have a party for something like that is beyond me, but we all know one thing: Xemnas is crazy. And Saix smokes Pot.

"Okay, so we have to go out and buy some of this stuff. I'll go to town and buy it, you get ready with everything else," Axel said, getting up and walking out the door, stopping by Luxord's room to steal some of his "hard earned" munny.

Roxas went over to his drawer, pulling out of bag of sugar. When I say "bag" I mean a large zip lock bag. Taking a spoon out of the same drawer, he opened up the bag and scooped out some, and stuck it in his mouth. This repeated for sixteen spoonfuls until Roxas felt worthy enough to cause real trouble. This was going to be a real fun day…

* * *

Breakfast was rushed, due to the fact that they had to get the room ready for the party. Xigbar put the table who knows where, and Marluxia started decorating the room with streamers, flowers, etc. Lexaeus was in the kitchen baking Xemnas's cake, since he was the only one with enough patience to do something so daring. He had left the room for the time being, so Roxas stood in the back, eyes twitching from all the sugar he chucked down.

The cake was pretty big, like one of those large wedding cakes. And it was a chocolate cake. But there was no chocolate on it yet. Perfect.

Taking the can of chocolate cream off the table, which was going on the cake, he replaced it with fifty bottles of cow shit, which looked like chocolate, to him anyway. He put the real chocolate in his backpack, and walked over to the fridge.

As he opened it, he saw some wine bottles, set to cool. He took two and chucked it out the open kitchen window, hitting Xaldin in the head, causing him to pass out. Roxas than replaced the wine bottles with his own homemade ones. _El pee de Roxas_ as he liked to call it. Hey, who was gonna notice, they were both yellow in color. Either way, they'd drink it.

He turned to the other wine bottles. Taking out a small vial (he nicked it off of Vexen during the whole Furby dilemma, when he and Axel were in his lab) he poured a little into each bottle. _To spike, or not to spike?_ Roxas thought with an evil smile. _Spike!_ He ended up pouring the whole potion into one of the bottles. With that finished, he threw the empty bottle out the window, rehitting Xaldin, who had just gotten up. Unfortunatly, he fell back down again.

_Phase 1: Complete!_ Roxas walked out with a triumphant smile.

* * *

Axel was currently hiding in Xemnas's closet, while the Superior was who knew where.

He looked around at all of Mansex's cloths. All the cloaks that he had were either black, white, or gray.

_This guy needs to get out more._ Then he heard some kind of noise. He looked through the closet door crack, and saw that Saix had just entered the room, holding Xemnas's black/white cloak in his hands. (You know the one he wore during the final boss battle? Yeah…)_ Must've sent his boyfriend to get his drycleaning._ Saix put the cloak on a chair, and left.

A couple of minutes later, Axel got out of the closet and went over to the chair. The smile on his face only got bigger as he took a bottle out of his pocket.

* * *

Roxas was in his room, waiting impatiently for Axel to finish his "mission". At long last, he entered the room.

"Phase 2: Complete! The itching powder is now on Mansex's cloak," he said, controlling his laugh. "You done with your part?"

Roxas smiled. "Replaced the chocolate cream with cow shit, switched the wine bottles with my piss, and spiked the rest with Vexen's potion. Yeah, my part's done."

"Good, now on with Phase 3."

* * *

Both Keyblade Master and Pyro stood hehind a corner, watching Xigbar fill the black balloons with air.

"Okay, so I'll go out and distract him," Roxas said, sea salt ice cream in hand.

"And _I'll_ help him finish the balloons," Axel said, smiling like a mad man.

Roxas went up to the Freeshooter, sucking on his ice cream. "Xigbar, can I ask you something?"

Xigbar looked up. "Shoot."

"Can we go somewhere else to talk about it? I don't want anyone to hear us."

For a moment, Xigbar looked confused. The he shrugged and got up, leaving with Roxas.

After they were gone, Axel went up to the balloons, holding a paint brush and a bucket of gasoline.

* * *

Half and hour later…

"Y-You're not digusted…doesn't any of this make you sick?" Xigbar asked Roxas, who was sucking on his 34th ice cream bar.

Roxas shock his head and continued eating.

By now, Xigabr's eyes were twitching. Roxas had wanted to ask him something, but he didn't expect it to be about sick things. So Xigbar had told him all the sickest, craziest, and perverted things in the world. When he had been little, Xigbar and some of his friends would go up to little kids and tell the sick things. They would gag and throw up, and they were Roxas's age. But Roxas didn't do anything. He just stood there, eating sea salt ice cream.

"I'm going to go and shoot something now," Xigbar said, backing away and going into his room, forgetting about the balloons.

Roxas stood there for a few more minutes, making sure Xigbar wasn't coming back. Then he took out his earplugs, put them in his pocket, and went to get more ice cream.

On the way back to the kitchen, he bumbed into Axel. "Phase 3: Complete," he said, rubbing his hands together. "You?"

Roxas smiled. "He ended up going back to his room to shoot something."

Just then, Xaldin walked up to them, holding an icepack against his forehead. "Xemnas wanted me to give this to you two," he handed a note to Roxas.

"What's with the icepack?" Axel asked.

"I was out walking this morning, and I was hit with three glass bottles filled with some sort of liquid," Roxas laughed under his breath when he heard that, but that went unnoticed by the two adults, "one of them was Vexen's, I'll have to stab him later…anyway, Xemnas and Saix can't stand to look at you two, so I'm stuck playing delivery boy," he said, then left.

Axel leaned over Roxas's shoulder so he could also read the note.

_"I have not forgotten what you two perverts did yesterday. One more stunt, and I mean _one more stunt, _and you two morons will be in a world of hurt." _

Roxas handed the paper to Axel, who burned it.

"To bad it's too late to be good little boys," Roxas said, evil smile and all.

"Yeah, screw that. All the parts are in place. Now, we wait."

* * *

That night, all the members started to gather in the party room, making last minute preparations.

Roxas and Axel, however, got stuck with bringing out the cake. Which, as we all know, was covered with cow shit. One more thing, the candles were already lit. Just remember that.

"Man Roxas, how much cow shit did you leave behind?" Axel said, trying not to sniff the cake.

"About fifty cans. I don't think Lexaeus can smell very good…" Roxas said.

They entered the room, and made their way to the table to put the cake down. After they did that, they walked around, waiting for Mansex to show up.

The duo went ot the other side of the room, as far away from the refreshment table as possible. They saw Saix going up to the table to get a glass of wine. He picked one up, drank from it, and immediately spit it out. He starred at the glass, then chucked the whole glass down, getting more. Axel and Roxas laughed as he fell to the floor, drinking one of the glasses that had been spiked.

"I'd put that down if I were you," Zexion said as Demyx picked up a glass.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow," Xemnas said, scratching himself as he walked into the room. "Saix, did you take these to the cleaners? Saix?" Too bad Saix was out cold on the ground.

"Holy…" Xigbar said, as a balloon floated over to the candles on the cake, bursting into flames since Axel put gasoline on the balloons.

"Shit," Axel said, "We weren't supposed to light them yet."

Everyone, expect Xemnas, Axel, Roxas, and Demyx, all ran out of the room, dragging the unconscious Saix by his feet.

"My sanctuary! _Sanctuary_!" Axel screamed, getting out his chakrams and running around the room, with twenty foot tall flames coming out of everywhere.

"The roof! The roof!" Roxas yelled, holding a bucket of gasoline in his hand.

"Dance, water, dance!" Demyx cried, trying to put the fire out, with no luck. He ran out after the other members as the flames grew bigger.

Now, Xemnas was beyond pissed. "I-I warned you two…WELCOME TO HELL!" He brought out his light sabers, and began to walk closer. Axel and Roxas stopped running around. They saw Mansex's pissed face, and started stepping back.

"Aw, come on…we were just having a little fun…" Axel said.

"Y-Yeah, and we ain't done yet, right Axel?" Roxas said, smiling.

"Yeah…on the count of three…THREE!" they both turned around, pulling down their pants, showing off their pale asses. And wouldn't you know it, there were words on their butts. Written on Axel's ass was the word "fuck" and on Roxas's ass the word "you" was written.

Xemnas's mouth was down to the floor, orange eyes wide. Two seconds later he passed out.

Pulling up their pants, and laughing like crazy, they went down the hall, until a voice behind them made them stop dead.

"So you're trying to kill me? Spike my drink, huh? Too bad I ain't dead yet." Axel and Roxas turned around to find Saix, in berserk mode, ready to kill.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" the two idiots screamed, running through the front doors of the castle.

"Where do we run to?" Roxas asked as they saw Mansex's gummi ship. "To the gummi!" Axel yelled. They stopped when they got in.

"Where are the keys? Without them, we're screwed!" Axel said as Saix was running around the yard, trying to find them.

Roxas turned to Axel. "Get in the drivers seat and start driving."

"Why, you got the keys?"

"No, but I know how to get out of here." Roxas got onto the floor, crawling under the steering wheel. He then started to fool around with the wires. A minute later, the controls lighted up.

"Go!" Roxas yelled.

Axel stomped on the gas petal, and they shot up into the sky. Below them, they could hear Saix yelling profanity at them. Roxas pointed a middle finger at Saix.

"Can't you drive better?" Roxas asked ten minutes later.

"You do realize that Mansex took my license, right?" Axel said, getting up so Roxas could drive instead.

"So…" Axel asked a few minutes later, "we're wanted men. Where exactly are we gonna go now?"

Roxas though for a moment. "We could always go to Atlantica and sing with Ariel."

"But it's _underwater_. How 'bout-" Axel said, but then got cut off has the controls on the panel started lighting up again.

"What?" Roxas asked.

"We're out of fuel," Axel said, looking at the controls. Then the ship started shaking.

"This doesn't look so good…" Roxas said as he looked out the window, shock on his face. "We're going to crash into a world!"

"Shit, shit, shit! We need to get out of here!" Axel yelled, looking around for an exit.

"We're going to die!" Roxas yelled, hugging Axel as they both screamed. Meanwile, the gummi ship crash landed on the world known as…

* * *

**Yes, cliffhangers are evil...very evil...but then that means there's going to be a sequel! Aren't you people happy? **

**First off, thanks for everyone who reviewed, you made me want to try and update faster. Thanks!**

**About the sequel...please wait a month for it. I've already got it planned out, but I'm going to take a little break. Plus I've got projects to do for school, so it's going to take a while. And I need to update my other stories before you guys try to hunt me down.**

**P.S. - Lets see how many people actually read my disclaimer...**


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